They all love me but ...

"They all love me but you're the only one who does anything. Goodbye."

Again encountering the fact that words and actions are not the same thing.

And in some cases the words without the accompanying actions are deceptive.

Stoicism revisited

Having a philosophy of living is better than not having one goes the argument. And it doesn't really matter which one you pick. 

It does a few things:

i - Gives you orientation and easier decision making.

ii - Less fear of the end. As much of the fear comes not from simply dying, but realizing at the end that you have not lived well. 

iii - Minimizes the feeling of backtracking. Making progress today only to wander backwards tomorrow. 

Flow vs Mindfulness

Both desirable states. And both have in common that the self is dissolved.

But also different. Flow you are totally lost on the moment. Mindfulness you are totally aware of the moment.

Not what you see

Most of the success stories we see are by people on tv, youtube, tedtalks, podcasts, or books. 

So our impressions of them are biased. We see them doing the easy work and receiving the glory. 

We don't see how they did the work, in a office, gym, or library without distractions, focusing. 

...

The holidays are over. So to should the distractions, dreaming, and planning. 

Movies again

GF: "I didn't really like the movie. It was not believable or realistic..."
Me: "I don't think about movies that way. It entertained me (I was lost in the movie) and I was inspired."

Best deal going for $30 if you ask me.

Extreme

I like the idea that "you learn nothing from that which you don't give your all".

Meshes well with 'intentionality'...
...need to edit this tomorrow.

Another Lesson from Programming

"There are always trade-offs" and "There are no free lunches"

Every optimization comes with its associated costs.

It is easy and exciting to optimize when you only see the dimension that you are optimizing. But you shouldn't forget that that optimization always comes with cost(s) - seen or unseen.

Change your mind

I guess a cool part of being young is you have the power / strength / resilience / whatever it is, you need to change your mind - to shatter one reality and start building a new one.

We 'young' somehow know that we don't know enough to make bold claims about what is really important.

And when we boldly claim we do know, underneath the words coming out of our mouths, we are acutely aware we are actually spewing shit out of our asses.

Through seeing what doesn't work, over and over, maybe someday we will get closer.

Merry Christmas
Ted

Reflection

This time of year I am drawn to planning.
I get excited.

But here, less is more.
What didn't work last year?
Just try not to repeat those. No adding goals or plans. Simple.

Confused

Is claiming someone is deeply confused an insult?

I can imagine someone in a rage of anger. In place of getting angry you call him deeply confused.

Hehe. I like that image. You can avoid anger for yourself. And I the right kind of fool won't take being called deeply confused very well.

Tough conversation

They are tough in more than one way.

Having a good conversation with language that everyone understands, actual listening, and intent to keep calm is tough to find.

And knowing when to push for having a difficult emotional conversation is tough as well.

But both, when you find them, are worth the wait and the cost.

New wave

I rode the best wave of my life today.

It was new, scary, uncertain, and thrilling.

I want to experience that feeling again with more new experiences in different areas of life.

Conventional Wisdom

Recently something got ball rolling in my head of all the problems with "Conventional Wisdom" and advice in general.

i - From the long-view of time, change is happening in almost all areas of life at a much faster rate than ever before. For thousands of years, change happened slow enough that knowledge could be refined over generations and passed down as wisdom. Now genuine wisdom from one generation ago might be completely outdated or unusable. 

ii - Disregarding the problem of time and change, advice is general tends to be biased in many ways. An important one was pointed out to me in the context of the elderly, but seems to apply generally.

When we are thinking about the elderly we tend to value safety over freedom. But when we think about ourselves we often value freedom over safety. In short our desires for others tend to be different than the desires we have for ourselves.  

When you get or give advice, you generally are not after the answer to "what do you think I should do?", but rather "what would you do in my shoes?" and the answers might be very different.

iii - 

iv - 

...

Im no different, more work to do done

I just got really lucky. Really really lucky. Pure lucky.

Half the time I am greatful, but the other half I am hateful, resentful, and jealous.

I should have done more, it missed my big chance, I didn't do as well as him.

.....

I was under the illusion that I was different. That I was greatful for my luck. I was not like everyone else.

I would overcome the mindless, the negative, the ego.

Nope. I am just like everyone else.

More work to do. More meditation to practice. More Osho to read!

Why work

Other than the basic necessities - food, shelter, etc - it is hard to think of good ways use our money that we slave for.

But family vacations seems to be one.

Both the experiencing and remembering self are included. You experience really relaxing because you can let your guard down - you are around the people you are most comfortable with and are in a beautiful stress-free environment. You also build relationships and memories that will last beyond this moment. 

Reason from First Principles

It can't only be intelligence and drive. Plenty of others have equal or greater amounts of those ingredients. He has something more.

"Reason from first principles, not from analogy", is advice that Elon Musk gives. And it is suspected that this skill / habit he possess is a key ingredient in his success.

But I am not sure exactly how to apply this advice or how to cultivate it as a mental model.

"Reason from first principles, not by comparison", maybe that is a better way to frame it...

...just googled analogy and it is pretty much exactly the same as comparison.

Got it. But now I am afraid I have also figured out that I lack another ingredient. Piss.

Another point on becoming an adult

When you are the one in the room to notice that something is wrong, but don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying something. +1 point.

When you were a kid and noticed something wrong it was different. You might of had the same level of conviction, but you had no real reason why it was wrong and no alternative to propose. Further, you had no sensitivity filter, you just felt it and said it.

Now it is different. How do you balance voicing your opinion with minding your own business. Or not offending anyone with trying to help.

Errr. Becoming an adult is worse than I imagined.
:)

Before your eyes

One of the only good things about not living near the ones you love is this: It is easier for you to notice change. If you look at something too frequently and the change happens over time, it is easy not to notice that any change is happening. Like the frog in the pot of mild water on the lit stove, he might not notice that it is getting hot until the simmering bubbles start tickling his ass, and by then it might be too late to hop out.

I think seeing that change is happening is an awesome power and should be acted upon wisely.

Because if you don't see it, it means that you are lost in it, without the power to put your weight behind some effort to nudge it in the direction you would like to see it go.

Fractional values

Another Very Bad Wizard podcast. This one on Thomas Nagel's Fractional values.

He makes the case that there are moral and practical decisions that cannot be reasoned through using one value. In many cases we hold competing values that can't be reconciled.

Example:
Do you follow you passion and life's work tomorrow or do you spend it with your loved ones?

But he stresses that this conflict does not mean that our moral decisions are arbitrary, rather that that need to be chosen with care.

It really is cheesey

But it also is true.

Our moments do add up to our lives.
And some small moments are really really important and special.

Beging of endings

It is something that I have historically struggled with, but did a good job this time.

When the end of one experience is approaching it is easy to forget that the ending is the most important part, while we look forward to a new beginning.

Planning and anticipation are great until they get in the way of here and now.

Thank you for loving me

"Thank you for loving me". Sort of makes no sense.

I think we all feel who we make space for in our lives is a choice. But we feel that who we end up loving is not a choice, it is just something that emerges out of the darkness of our inner lives.

So maybe, "Thank you for loving me" is more just thanking you for the space you are giving them in your life.

Acts of Omission

I think acts of omission (the things you don't do) even though they normally feel like they are very different from acts of commission (the things you do) are really on the same moral spectrum.

Though this is not our normal moral intuition for the everyday, routine, mundane, and normal acts, it becomes clear when you think and feel big and important moral actions. "I could have helped X". "I could have spent more time with my family". Yadayadayada.

Hope all is well.

Approaching the door

It seems like there are many different ways of discovering that you are not really in control of your thoughts. And I have not run into any opposing opinions.

What does a life look like if you took this fact very very seriously?

...

Today I am greatful for good friends.

...

Hope all is well.

Listening as a skill

I came across a quote that framed listening as a skill.

I love that idea - that you can become a better listener the same way you become better at other skills, with deliberate practice.

The quotes explains a main tenet of being a skilled listener: the ability to hold in your mind all the agitation caused by the information coming at you. Hold it and remain calm.

It's tough.

This weekend I am seeing many old friends and meeting new people. Seems like a great opportunity to practice.

Another Example

Of how the Buddha was right.

I have free money / found money and it is causing me stress.

It is objectively a purely positive thing and yet my mind is not satisfied.

Funny Book

It still amazes my how a book can be really funny. I guess that I just have not (and may never) shook my childhood notion of books being solely serious endeavors.

A Confederacy of Dunces is helping me though.

...

On the other hand though life is pretty funny when we zoom out as see our absurdities for what they are. Maybe that is what a good funny book is capturing. 

Palabras y Acciones

Dicen que las acciones son mas que las palabras.

No se. Me parece que los dos tienen sus lugares.

Y a veces palabras (o silencio) exije mas coraje que acciones.

Pero al final los dos son las mismas cosas: Son actos del albedrio. Y probablamente los deberiamos elejir con mas sabiduria que los elijimos ahora.

Consejo de la salud

Todos tienen sus opiniones de la salud y estan muy rapadidos para darte sus consejos.

Es mucho mas facil a dar consejos que es seguir tu propia dieta.

Entonces me parece el mejor que podemos hacer para ayudar otros es ser un buen ejemplo, ayudarlos si pedirte, y decir las tres palabras mas dificil a decir en el mundo - "I don't know". 

Pizza

Comemos pizza hecho a mano.

El mejor parte fue que el chef le encantó el proceso de hacerlas.

Salieron muy buenas

Gracias Mariano

Thor 3

One thing that I am convinced you should do at least once a week is watch a movie. They are so powerful. They inspire and motivate me in 2hrs for the rest of the week. Very good RIO.