A Great Vacation and The Thoughts that Came Along

Jayne (my sister) is visiting and we have been bumming around all week having a good time. My thoughts have been all over the place, which is one of the best parts about a vacation in my opinion. When we are not too busy stuffing our faces with tacos or walking on the beach I have found myself either reading a book, reading and watching interesting stuff on the web, and thinking a bit about all sorts of things.....

-I am started reading (11% finished) the Albert Einstein biography. The thing I like about the guy is that he just questioned absolutely everything. He had no problems questioning authorities and even went so far as to question space and time. I would like to have more of this trait in myself and am going to work to do so.
-I sort of like the idea of going hard/grinding/depriving yourself/discipline/structure 90% of the time and binging and relaxing 10% of the time. I am talking mostly about work, diet, exercise, and stuff like that. It seems that by doing things this way 1) you build good habits 2) you enjoy the 10% so much more. I am going to try to try this out as well.
-Poker stuff....big picture stuff though....not specifics.
-I have been trying to learn all about digital/cryptographic currencies (bitcoin, ripple, etc.). This topic fascinates me and I wish I had more time to learn more about the topic.
-Great commencement speech and worth a watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqRPesTumlA.
Cliffs: Take extraordinary risks/paths and live in the moment.

That's it...thanks for a great vacation Jayne, my batteries are recharged and I am looking forward to the 90% for the next 10 weeks.
Hope all is well,
Ted

Long Walk on the Beach

I ate too much for dinner, so a long walk on the beach felt like a good idea. 

After walking a around a mile or two I found a good spot where the high surf from earlier had created a comfortable bench, looking outward into the dark ocean  lit by Cozumel in the background, or into the star-filled sky, depending on your heads angle, and I popped a squat[1]. I was alone. It was quiet and peaceful. 

My thoughts quickly went to what has been on my mind for the last few days. That is, what happens when I go back home broke[2]? I went through what my life would consist of if that was the case. Then for some reason I thought "ok, what would I do if I had ALL THE MONEY?". I went through imagining my life in that scenario as well. Then I laughed.

The two visions were pretty much the same[3]. I took a deep breath and felt much much better.

Hope all is well,

Ted

[1] The best way to walk on the beach if your goal is to work off dinner and do some soul-searching/thinking is as follows. Walk relatively quickly until you think you have gone far enough, this will give you some good exercise and clear your mind, as you can't thing when you move too fast. Then take a seat, relax, let your heart rate come down, do your thinking. Walk back really slowly as you can think clearly when you are moving slowly, refine your thoughts. 

[2] Not absolute zero broke, but broke enough where pursuing this great dream of becoming a professional poker player no longer seems practical. 

[3] Similarities consisted of family, work of some sort, improving myself, and trying to help others in some way. The differences were the type of work and the amount of time that I spent away from work. 

First Quarter Graph

Here is my poker "income" from the first quarter of 2013.

With rake-back and bonuses it was about a break-even quarter and was frustrating to say the least. 

I wish I could point to one thing and say "this is what happened" or "this is what I need to do", unfortunately I think there are a lot of things that need to happen for a better second quarter to the year. I have some ideas though[1] and am....mehhhh.....optimistic....I guess you could say. 

Hope all is well

Happy April Fools Day[2]

Ted

[1] Mainly focusing on focus. I think my mind has turned into mush over the last 2 years and I need to figure out how to turn it into back into a high powered machine!

[2] I don't know if they know about this holiday in Mexico. I will have to find out.  

Update from Playa + Winners and Losers

[0] I guess the best way to update this is to report on those 5 Goals from last post.....
1 (10% Body Fat) - Going Ok. I think I have lost a little weight, I am eating healthier[1], and am really active [2]. But I have lost a little focus and need to step it up if I want to accomplish this goal [3].
2 (Have Good Time) - I sure am, seeing new things and meeting some really nice people[4]. Enjoying the weather[5].
3 (Get a lot better at playing Poker) - I think so[6].
4 (Make money) - Failing. I have not made a penny and have spent quite a few.
5 (Become proficient in[7] Spanish) - Ah ...not actively trying to learn, but I am picking up a little bit and learning common phases. It would be easier if everyone didn't speak English.

Here's a simple thought that I had this morning on Winners and Losers in a competitive environment (ie small and mid-stakes online poker, but I think applies most places). I think that the two most important things that are overlooked when we see people as winners or losers in their fields are variance and small edges. Variance is everywhere we just don't like to see it because we don't understand it and can't make it fit into cause and affect story. Small edges are interesting because they are often mistaken for variance. And if someone is doing something just slightly better than others (in the right area), he could become the winner rather than the loser a large percentage of the time. He might not know why, others might attribute his winning to luck/variance, and it might be imperceptible to outsiders why he is a winner rather than a loser, but I suspect even having a razor thin edge in the right area[8] could separate winners from the losers.

Hope everyone is doing well at home. I am really looking forward to my parents coming to visit next week.

[0]- I am going to use end notes. I saw it in another blog (AEJones) and I liked it.
[1]- I am not really actively trying, but the environment that I am in has helped a lot I think.
[2]- On a good day I will run in the morning, lift around noon, and play tennis in the afternoon. On a bad day just play tennis and walk on the beach.
[3]- It is a bet as well as a goal. This should help with the motivation.
[4]- A man named Bugzy, was the most interesting character so far.
[5]- It's really crazy and sort of sad how much the weather affects (or effects, I don't know) your mood.
[6]- It is really hard to tell at this point. Both because I am not winning and because it is hard to be objective about those things
[7]- Is it "in Spanish" or "at Spanish"? My money is on at "at Spanish", I don't think you can be in a language.
[8]- How do you tell what the right area is? I think that for me as far as online poker goes the right areas might be intense focus while playing, actively trying to thinking objectively, and understanding my motivation for playing.

-Ted

   

First Week in Playa del Carmen

I've been in Playa for over a week now and I have to say that I think I made a good choice to move here for the next six months. Everybody is friendly and helpful, the weather is perfect, the beaches are great, and the food is good. 

A few observations during this first week in Playa:

1- Everyday I see a handful of people doing sports illustrated style photo shoots on the beach. What are you doing? Sure you look good in a bathing suit, but why are you doing this? Show them to your kids in 15 years? Post on Facebook? I don't know maybe I'm missing something.

2- I'm still undecided on topless beaches.

3- Good book > Good movie

4- Everybody looks better with a tan.

5- What if the Mexican Segurity Guard/Police Union, the MSGPU (I just made this up), made up the hole "mexico is dangerous" garbage and fed it to the press so they would get more jobs? Brilliant. 

6- It's crazy how things can be so expensive and so cheap in the same town. On the beach you can't get dinner for under $20; go a few blocks inland and people are feeding families of 6 (or more) for that much (getting about the same quantity and quality).

Things that I Want To Do While in Playa (in no particular order):

1- Get down to 10% Body Fat. Plan on running on the beach, eating somewhat healthy, not going to CookOut, playing tennis, basketball, beach volleyball, and Frisbee. Maybe swimming?

2- Have a good time.

3- Get a lot better at playing poker. To do this I just need to put in the effort.

4- Make enough money that I can do whatever I want the rest of the year. To do this I just need to put in the time.

5- Become proficient in Spanish. Enough so I can travel to places they speak Spanish and do everything on my own (i.e. get a lease, find good food, talk to locals, etc...)

Moving into my place tomorrow. Will post pictures when I can.

-Ted

And We're Off?

Graduated college. 

It's hard to sum up four and a half years in words but.....probably chose wrong major, met some great people, had some good times, learned some important (?) stuff from some intelligent people, and laughed a lot. But I cant lie, unfortunately I have some regrets. Mainly not taking enough risks (you are in the safest lowest risk place in the world), why not push yourself.

I'm off to mexico in a day or so for the next little while (six months?). More to come.......  

Ok so....

Yesterday all I was thinking about was how badly I wanted to drop out of school and be on my way. I kept on thinking about Steve Job's Stanford commencement speech and how he said if you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say what I am going to do today is not what I want to do, than it is time to move on. All day I was thinking about this and I was one pep (it would have had to been good) talk away from packing up the car and heading on my way.
But then last night (I seem to be getting my best thinking done at night lately) I realized that I have not been wanting to go to school for the last little while for all the wrong reasons. Mostly I wanted to get out of here because I felt like the hole world was moving forward and I have been stuck in neutral for the past four years, every one is out in the world making money, getting married, and the like (Prof. Sergei reference).
However, this is not the way I (or any of us) should look at things, we should not compare ourselves to everyone else. I should rather only compare what I am doing with what I want to be doing, leaving what everyone else is doing or thinks I should be doing behind.
So what do I want to be doing.....some part of me does want to compete with everyone else and make the most money, have the best job, wife, etc. Another part wants to continue learning for the next 10 months because this opportunity might never be hear again. And yet another part wants to finish school because it would probably make my parents happier than if I didn't.
The exciting thing is the notion that when I graduate maybe all these different ways that I want to go could merge into one path (that sounds very Confucius like) ....yadda yadda yadda